Kate, Mommy and Dr Dictator

On Monday, Kate had her 15 month check- up and shots. On every well-baby visit we leave the doctor’s office with a report on her stats from this visit (height, weight, etc), a list of shots she received today, information on what to expect in the next few months and when the next well-baby visit will be. Mommy and Daddy have been anxiously awaiting this check- up so we could find out whether Kate’s car seat could be turned forward, so she could see the life that was coming at her~ instead of being forced to watch life after it has already passed her by. Once a child is at least 1 year old and weighs 20 pounds, the car seat can face forward.

(*I really don’t know what my obsession is with this- particularly since I am constantly complaining that Kate is growing up too fast! This is one of the last “baby” things about her- once she graduates to the forward facing car seat, its all over!)

So, Kate was stripped down to her birthday suit and put on the scale. Both Mommy and Daddy held their breath, in anticipation of the verdict…. (drum roll please…..)… Kate weighs 19 ½ pounds!!! She’s only half a pound short of the prize! But every dark cloud does have a silver lining ~ Kate’s weight is up a little (percentage wise) from being in the bottom 2nd or 3rd percentile for her age to the 5th percentile!!!! YEA!!! Now only 95% of children her age weigh more than Kate- instead of 97-98% of children her age weighing more! Our goal for the 18 month visit is to get to double digits!

One of Kate’s claim to fame is her height. It is really good. She is 31 inches tall ~ and in the 70th percentile (so she is taller than 70% of the children her age!!! YEA!!!! (only 30% of those freaky giants are taller than her). Lets be logical, rational and level headed about this situation- THIS IS A BLESSING! What girl wouldn’t want to be really tall and thin??!! (maybe she could teach Mommy how to do that someday).

More good news: Kate’s ear infection and upper respiratory infection have both cleared up. Unfortunately all the antibiotics left a wicked rash as a little reminder of their presence. But, after a few days of an intense assault on the diaper rash it surrendered, leaving only a small red spot.

Overall, Kate’s visit was superb- she is developing just fine; her motor skills are right on track; she can walk, says multiple words, recognizes some body parts (she’s ahead of the game on that one!- our genius!), feeds herself, brushes teeth, tries to put on her shoes, etc! She is doing so well! And, because she is not perfect- she does have a few areas that need work: she still only has 2 teeth (most kids at this age have 12 teeth), and she has allergies. Overall- its not to shabby!
Kate’s Doctor (“Dr A”) is an interesting woman. She is a full Clinical Professor in Pediatrics at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School, and she wrote a book on childhood obesity. She was elected Chief of Medical Staff at Medical Center of Plano in 1996; is currently President of Patient Physician Network of Plano; and has completed a five year term on the Board of Trustees of the MCP. Clearly Dr A has her stuff together. I think she is probably one of the best pediatricians in our area, and she has impressive credentials, But, like Kate, and most other humans, Dr A is not perfect.

My observations of Dr A’s flaws go like this:

1. She believes all parents are idiots: either no smarter than her babbling patients (their children) OR they simply lack judgment. She feels the need to be very “simple” in discussing our child’s issues, likely because she doubts we would understand her if she spoke to us like a colleague. (I keep finding myself pointing out that I am an attorney- and just as smart as you!!!!- Dr A may be a bit more mature than I am, but that has nothing to do with intelligence!)

2. She is quietly condescending. She is polite and listens to each and every one of our questions, but every now and then, you can see that condescension as she nods her head and smiles. I experienced this on a recent visit while telling her details of whatever the current disaster was. Behind the head nod and smile, I could see her thinking “silly new parent asking foolish questions”. Since that visit, I can look past her perfectly chiseled nose, stylish outfits and a very nice face lift- to see that she finds our concerns silly and is amused by our simpleminded, “new parent,” questions. (She has never been rude or inappropriate in her actions or her medical advice- it’s just an observation that I feel when I ask her a question.)

3. Lastly, and most importantly, it appears Dr A believes she is the supreme authority in child rearing. This observation is the crux of my rant and rave tonight. When we are given Kate’s report sheet at the end of the visit, there is a section where information about what to expect is written and suggestions regarding common issues during this time. In the past, this section has said things about:

o SAFETY
Always buckle baby into car seat
Never leave baby alone in a bathtub
Prevent falls
Never hold hot liquids while holding baby
Promote safety: lower crib mattresses
Child proof your house

o FEEDING
· Breast-feeding 8-12 times a day
· Use liquid baby vitamins
· Some spit up after feeding is normal
· Hints on feeding solid foods
· Begin using a cup (instead of bottle) for water or Juice

o HEALTH
· Baby should have 8-12 wet diapers a day
· Fever is unusual at this age, call Dr if baby has 99.5 degrees or higher

o GENERAL INFO
· Crying may increase late in the day
· Try to establish a regular naptime in morning and afternoon.
· Nighttime awakenings may occur due to separation anxiety.

On the report we received this month, it said many similar things we discussed above. There were, however, 2 things that really bother me:

A. Discontinue pacifier

AND

B. NO TV. !!!!!!!!!

Now I get that there are issues surrounding long term use of pacifiers. My understanding is that children should be off their pacifiers pretty early, to reduce the risk of damaging their teeth, as well as allowing the child an unobstructed mouth out of which to learn to talk. (perhaps there is an argument to be made to keep the pacis in as long as possible!) Kate loves her pacifiers (we call them “binkys”)- Life as we know it is not the same when we refuse to give her the binky! But we are trying.

The real problem I have is with the self-imposed power in her statement. It's not worded – “attempt to limit the amount of television so child has to use his imagination to play- or so he will go outside and run around”- - BUT NOOOOOOO, instead what we get is a directive! A simple but firm “No TV.” (you might as well just say "Bad Dog!") At this juncture, she is akin to a dictator. After all, a dictator, simply put, is a ruler who assumes sole and absolute power without hereditary ascension. Dr. A gives her order (“No TV.”) and manipulates the political scene (the doctor’s office and idiot mommies [see 1 above]) appropriately- basically ostracizing anyone who dares to question the order. Just for that Dr A- I am going to let Kate watch an extra half hour of SpongeBob Squarepants OR Family Guy every day!!! (she would normally be watching The Little Einstein’s or Sesame Street- but those are way too educational to be used for protest! )

LONG LIVE TV!!